My first post has explosions.

I desperately want to be thought of as funny. In my opinion, humor is one of the most important traits a human can have, along with the ability to be comfortable in a conversation, the ability to specifically make me comfortable in a conversation, and puppies. All of these things - important.

The worst part about all of this is that some people think I'm hilarious. Which is either not true, or I just suck at harnessing my skill. And in any case, since I don't think so, being told I'm funny usually results in me thinking I have to spit out a joke to, like, prove it or something. And the complimenter ends up wishing to either erase their words or evade me.

On that note, if I ever *try* to be funny - sweet potatoes - watch out. It's an agonizing sock hop of emotion that very closely resembles those baby sea turtles that never get to the ocean because a stupid albatross is hungry. I am the lowly babies - all of them, collectively, to more easily convey sympathy - and my friends are the ravenous birds. I wind up resenting them for a few minutes because they didn't think highly of my outdated popculture reference about Michael Jackson.

On the brightside, and a completely different train of thought, you know that thing that you consider a personal weakness? My weakness is hearing, and subsequently *listening*. Anyway, I'm sitting here typing, and I hear a ruffling noise. It sounds like someone went to Walmart without me to get candy, and instead of taunting me with their plunder, they crinkle the plastic bag in my ear.

I let it be for awhile, but then my brain is telling me that the sound is coming from calculating roaches around me as they plot. This type of thought generally leads up to me hopping out of bed - maybe too girlishly - and combing throughout my dorm-room for the source of this devilnoise.

So it turns out that it's a broken sprinkler, sparsely slapping the sidewalk outside of our dorm, three floors down.

Now, the reason this is so exciting for me is that my bed is on the opposing side of the room to the window. Also, once I found the sound, my roommate still couldn't hear it - even standing right next to the window.

I have deducted, since I've been practically deaf until now, that I was bitten by a radioactive-spider. Or, no, probably a radioactive-something-with-ears. But I don't like to think of something evolved enough to have ears being close enough to my bed to bite me in the night. Spiders either, actually. I'm rambling.

In conclusion;

There's a chance I'm funny.
But I definitely have superpowers.